I still don’t drink beer until afternoon

2 Jun

Mom

said not to

drink beer or

hard liquor

until after the noon hour

or I would be

an

alcoholic

 

I never drank

even beer before noon

unless on a vacation —

mom said

it’s okay

to have morning drinks

during breakfast

on trips

 

Later in life

a friend asked me

to go

to a few AA meetings

with him

 

I asked each one there

when they had their

first drink each day?

Each gave a time

always after

the noon hour

 

 

I asked how

they could be

an alcoholic

when they don’t

begin before noon?

Everyone stared at me

for several minutes

even my friend

 

 

Could mom

be wrong?

 

 

I guess there

was a message

in all that silence

and  all

them AA members

staring at me

 

 

Could

mom

be wrong?

 

 

 

Connie, remember falling in love?

2 Jun

where

ever

you

are

 

 

do you

remember

we

loved

one

summer

at

cocoa beach?

i did not know what to say

1 Jun

shyness is crazy

it didn’t do me

any good

all those years

of being afraid

of rejection

 

 

in fact

when i was

lucky enough

to walk

with a girl

in high school

 

 

i didn’t

know

if i should

hold

her

hand

 

 

when i didn’t

which was

almost always

i saw

disappointment

in her eyes

when we

went our

own ways

i was too shy to ask you to be my friend

1 Jun

i was afraid you would laugh

or walk away

if i asked to be your friend

 

those were the days

before texting on a cell

or going on facebook

and asking to be a friend

 

 

back then i

missed chances to

to fall in love

or just have a friend

because i was afraid

to say the words

on the phone or

in person . . . those words,

can i be your friend?

 

 

it’s easier now

with texting

no one has to

have their feelings

hurt

and if someone says no

to a friend request

just simply look at

other photos

and send more friend requests

I revisit my lost dreams

30 May

I hope

to find the path

back to my dreams

I keep reaching

to grab the rope

to begin my climb

to dreams I almost

reached

but I let go

of the rope

that would

take me

 

 

 

I hope the rope

does not break

this

time

 

welcome to my private thoughts

30 May

I am sharing with you

ragged poems . . .

I used to be concerned

with perfection

but that did not

work out

as I am very

imperfect

 

 

welcome to my

imperfect world

where I’ll

share my thoughts

and imperfections

 

I wonder

if my thoughts

are like your thoughts &

I wonder

if you could be

my friend

if you really

knew me

broken pieces

30 May

can you

put me

back

together

and

discover

what

I

was

like

before

I

fell

into

so

many

pieces?