Knocking on Jesus’s Door

hi Jesus i’m suppose to be “joyful” the church people tell me — i smile to make them think i am joyful but you/ and i/ know better … it’s all about the feeling of not achieving the things i have always wanted/ it’s not about lack of food or money/ i don’t remember the

Waiting for time take me for a ride

do you ever feel like this “i’ve done what I can do — now i will wait it out i’ve done it all desire for trips/ gone desire to write books/gone desire to eat out/gone i want to be left alone/ to be a recluse i like music if i can understand words don’t want

Let me try . . . to make you feel good!

I’m at an age where I’ve gone through so much (that is not all good) so many people have disappointed me i don’t blame them they are human aren’t they? and humans are this way– they make mistakes, some are greedy some are out only for themselves they just don’t know — as years pass

Will you be my forever friend?

i must share how it was i gave my time to anyone who wanted it anyone who wanted to be my friend–yes! i wanted many friends when i was young in my teens and twenties (and later) years and years and years passed and most of my friends are gone (maybe they really did not

She says “age does not matter”

it happened at a drug store today have you had someone say age does not matter? that’s exactly what she said . . . she waited on me for a prescription she knew my age & I only imagine as I looked closely at her face and body she was in her twenties she asked

Finding my Soul Mate

just walking down a road saw an inviting place & stopped at THE OLD MONK PUB it had a fancy sign with the words “THIS IS A CLASSY JOINT– COME ON IN” went inside and ordered a drink there i sit sipping slowly wondering if i’d ever meet my soul mate a lady walks in

she loves me . . .

she loves me she loves me not she loves me she loves me n o t

they disappeared before I said bye

i am next . . . but maybe not it seems like it could be that way when i look around those i once played with ate with talked with evaporated (to heaven?) it is hard to hold on to the idea they would not be here forever not even me

Anxiety calls my name

I was hoping anxiety would stay away But lately he shouts my name louder and louder each day then he piled too much for me to jump over or through & I fell, fell & fell looking around i see no one to help me up Dear God please help me

I won for a few years

it was when I self-published my book When Twilight Begins poems flowed i’d carry a notebook — poems flowed while walking or sitting in a sports bar or sitting on my apartment couch ////// more books published, maybe 2 a year sold in bookstores — waldenbooks, dalton booksellers, barnes & noble, borders books-a-million & gift