Forgetting the mistakes I made

i often remind myself

of mistakes i made

as far back as i can remember —

i think i remember mistakes even before

i began the first grade in school

and the mistakes may not have been mistakes

but due to my thoughts and shyness

i took as criticism also known as mistakes / / /

one mistake i was blamed for while

growing up — my puppy was run over

by a mail truck– that became my mistake —

i heard over and over within my home / / /

i could not make all good grades

that became my fault

i didn’t not study enough or

try hard enough on my homework / / /

i made low grades because i could not name

all the capitals in all the states

or stand up and recite poems

required by teachers / / /

thinking about this now

i realize why i’ve had such a low opinion

of myself &

why i felt i did not fit in with others &

why i felt sad in most school classes / / /

this feeling of not being good enough

continued throughout my life

even now —

i think of what i could have done

but was afraid of failure if i tried / / /

i might talk more about what i really wanted

to do with my life

on another page / / /

am i the only one reading this that felt this way

looking back at what

i could have been

if others had not discouraged me / / /

it’s over now

i mean there is not enough time to do a redo

authority figures told me what i was not

able to do that i wanted to

(based on just my grades &

on classes i did not like or do well in) / / /

too late for me

maybe not too late for you

i send blessings to all who read this

_________________________________

Jim Wortham, May 4, 2024